Had a harsher touch of the “back-to-school-blues” last night. Returning to school after a vacation of two weeks or more is becoming increasingly difficult for me. While Sunday evenings occasionally cause the blues to a certain extent, it was an especially potent feeling last night. So much so, I was unable to finish watching “The Pianist” on Netflix streaming video, which is a most depressing film in and of itself. Actually, attempting to watch “The Pianist” was a mistake in light of how I was feeling. On the other hand, a comedy would have been more appropriate.
From 3 a.m. on, I woke up every hour, on the hour. Not a good sign. Then, 5:30 a.m. arrived. I proceeded to hit the snooze button until I absolutely had to get up, which was at 6:15 a.m. This is really late for me. Especially when I need to be out the door by 7:30 a.m.
I almost called in sick. Given the way I was feeling the night before, and this morning, I nearly succumbed to the temptation. I then convinced myself that I needed to go to school. Only three weeks away until midterm grades and comments, and, I need to begin assessing my students on the current lesson. Therefore, I couldn’t afford to lose a day.
Although I certainly felt blue, I also felt a degree of fear and trepidation. I didn’t feel as prepared as I wanted and needed to be, despite the fact that I had ten days off from school. Being a card-carrying perfectionist, I was feeling the pressure of not being able to bring my “A game”. I didn’t do much lesson planning, which was a conscious decision for me. Having spent every weekend prior to the Christmas vacation correcting student work and planning lessons, I did neither of each. Instead, I spent as much time as I could with family, celebrating Christmas and the New Year, and doing a lot of cooking.
The day went well, despite how I was feeling I was glad to see the students, and get back to teaching. Seeing my colleagues wasn’t as bad as I had anticipated, either. I am rather ambivalent towards them as a whole, and, sometimes, despite being in the best of moods, a negative interaction with a colleague really steals my joy. However, I am striving to view my colleagues in a more positive light. It’s a long story; too long for a blog. So, we’ll just leave it there.
